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How to handle VERBIAGE

As someone who accepts money from people, money he uses to pay his mortgage, I’m not prone to ranting about their weaknesses. But occasionally we have clients who give in to the temptation to sound like insiders by partaking in marketing speak.

It’s not their fault. I blame the manipulators who delight in enslaving and torturing language, in beating it into a sad submission of cliches, lingo and catch phrases, and then selling it in e-books and how-to videos to hard-working and unsuspecting people who are trying to make a living.

Take the word verbiage, for instance. It’s been exploited. Oppressed. Battered.

I can’t tell you how many times clients or potential clients have called asking me for verbiage.

Verbiage, noun, overabundance or superfluity of words, as in writing or speech; wordiness; verbosity. Origin: 1721, from Fr. verbiage "wordiness" (17c.), from M.Fr. verbier "to chatter," from O.Fr. verbe "word," from L. verbum "word"

 That’s right: verbiage means excessive or unnecessary words. I don’t care how much someone pays me; I won’t give them that.

Truth be told, I have a history with verbiage – a teacher and a single life changing moment. The word is seared into my brain, in the left-hand margin of a tenth grade English theme, in Ms. Mariane Schaum’s handwriting.

Excessive verbiage

She made me stay after school, writing the same paragraph over and over, and I hated her for it. I wrote one tortured and obtuse sentence after the next, and each time she sent me back to my desk to try again. Finally I lost my temper.

“What do you want me to say?” I half asked, half shouted. I then made my point as simply and clearly as possible, thinking what I said would be foolishly simplistic and unsophisticated.

“Exactly,” she replied.

Clarity. I achieved it in the same moment that I realized it was the key to writing. And as realization dawned across my face, Ms. Schaum smiled and I didn’t hate her anymore.

The downside of enlightenment, however, is the potential to develop a sense of superiority. I’m certain I’m not alone in my susceptibility to this particular syndrome. Side effects can include preachiness, derisiveness, dismissiveness and other equally unpalatable responses.

That said, I enjoy the occasional and wicked laugh, particularly when it comes from parodies of the abuses of language that rob it of its meaning. Take, for example, the website: What the Fuck is My Social Media “Strategy”.

This site mixes and matches cliches, lingo and catch phrases that are the rage with social media strategy experts de jour. The particular one that loaded for me today is:

Identify relevant and compelling hooks for the audience, create content around the hooks and integrate it into their social repertoires. 

 Oh joy. I swear I’ve heard someone say that almost word for word. And that is a person who can handle all of your verbiage needs.

For me, though, I’ll stick with clarity. The result may not sound quite so timely, but I'd rather strive for timeless.